Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
