and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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