Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
