i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
