Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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