u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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