Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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