I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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