Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
