It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
