she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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