I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
