Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
