I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
