mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
