i just had sex bonerless
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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