nut hugger
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize