Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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