So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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