we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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