I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
