You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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