I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
