I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
