Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
