At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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