yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
as a side note pls kill me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
