Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
