I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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