tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
