White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
