i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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