I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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