South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
