we're blogging at a bar
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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