I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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