Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
