Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
These tits shall not be calmed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
