Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
