I can tuck mytits in my pants
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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