Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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