he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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