Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
is that a dick in a sweater?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
