Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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