i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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