Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
