im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
