Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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