it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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