I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
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adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
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Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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