You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
