she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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