Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
