great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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