My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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