why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
