There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
